Welcome to The Reinvention Strategist! What a ride it has been since I came into this world back in 1967. Yes, not afraid to share my age. Growing older does come with its perks, such as wisdom, confidence, clarity; just to name a few. But what I can tell you is that it wasn’t always that way, and some days it still isn’t.
Emotional security and confidence
I grew up in suburban inner Melbourne with my dad who was self-employed and never seemed to be home, and my Mum who volunteered until we hit high school, but later worked locally and a Sister I never really connected with. With Dad being self-employed we had lots of holidays down the coast, more than my school friends and was always lucky enough to be given what we needed. But the one thing I craved the most was emotional security and confidence to do anything I wanted. You see, my parents didn’t know how to display affection with each other or us as we grew. We obviously were affectionate when we were much younger, but as we matured into teenagers, it all stopped. Even the word love was never uttered.
I couldn’t see the point
When I was in High School, friendships didn’t come easy, so bullying was at the forefront of my days (red hair, freckles, buck teeth; from a bike fall aged 4). I always wanted to be a teacher when I grew up, but due to the bullying, wagging was the highlight for quite a while, which in turn stopped me trying in class. I couldn’t see the point. My Mum and Dad tried their best to encourage me, even seeking assistance from the Assistant Principal, but nothing worked, and they gave up until I came to my senses, which was Year 10. By then my parents were told it’s too late for Sarah, just pop her into the Secretarial classes and that will hold her in good stead for the future. This infuriated me, but I went along to keep the peace and became compliant with that route.
My ticket to get out
Roll onto my young adult years and I met a guy who was besotted with me a month before my 18th birthday, and I saw him as my ticket to get out of home. Of course, I could’ve just moved out and started my own life, but confidence was lacking and, I didn’t think I could. Three and a half years later, we were married, and we started our new life together.
I became compliant
It was over the next 20 odd years I became compliant as a housewife. Not in a physically abusive way. I worked until my eldest was born and chose to be a stay-at-home Mum until my youngest started school ten years later. Those ten years I will always cherish. But, during those years, whilst I ran the household and managed the finances etc., I was pushed down from flourishing into the woman I thought I should be. I was a creative type. Loved to renovate, restore, and make things. In some ways I got to do this but had a love of all things vintage. This was stopped very quickly. If I had an opinion in a group setting and he didn’t agree, I was told, no that’s not correct Sarah and so on. My Father used to get so angry at this and my friends now tell me that looking back, they didn’t realise how it was affecting me and wrong it was. Sadly, it took me until 2010 to finally say no more and leave. My own ex late Father-in-law used to think I was the problem and not the way his son spoke to me. I suppose that’s why I pulled back from the physical side of our relationship. I felt I wasn’t listened to and that in turn affected our relationship as we went on.
I can be in control
It was after I left in 2010 that I realised I can do more. I can be in control. I can be the woman I always wanted to be. It didn’t happen straight away. A lot of self-doubt, infact I almost went back for the fear of surviving on my own. The fear of losing my home, my financial security, the kids not having two parents under the one roof; but I persevered.
I’ve done things I never thought possible
And boy I’m so glad I did. The next eleven years have been a journey. I’ve done things I never thought possible. I’ve done so many courses, found out how tough it is in a job market and have to accept a role I knew would be soul destroying, but I kept going. Made some amazing new friends, but also lost a lot as I left a great husband and Father (so they told me). To this day, only one has come to appreciate what I went through.
Never say no to an opportunity
But that soul-destroying role I took on I thought would be the end of me, led me to my next role; being self-employed. I was working as licence tester at Vic Roads. Loved the role, hated the work environment. One day an instructor said have you thought about switching roles? So, after much discussion with family (and a supportive new partner), I did the training and opened my business in February 2014. What a ride that has been. A journey of self-discovery, learning to market myself, advertise myself, make a few mistakes along the way but overall, run a successful business. Believing in myself! The people I’ve met along the way, the further training I’ve done to help that happen. Just wow! So, in some ways, that soul destroying job I was hesitant to take has led me to here. Never say no to an opportunity, as you just don’t know where it could lead.
Fight for want you want
One thing my children have learned in recent years is to fight for want they want, show them love daily and encourage them, tell them they’re strong enough to do anything they want, listen to them, hug them and tell them they are loved daily! But, also let them see there are hurdles to overcome and sometimes in their lives there will be tough times, but with love and support can get through it. It’s taken a long road to get there, but one that I don’t regret for a moment. Even to the point the ex and I can now talk on the phone about regular stuff, despite the kids now being adults. We support each other, we even share meals together occasionally.
So, never say never and never settle for second best. I look forward to sharing more as this journey continues.
Take care and remember, you’re in control and can flourish, thrive and grow!
Until next time, Sarah xo
